MAKE IT OR BREAK IT

Relationships... we build one with everyone and everything that touches our lives.

Some we are born with. The first lessons in bonding start with them. The comfort in the mother's womb, the first touch by the father, the cosy warmth of the grandparent’s arms, the safe haven of the sibling's hugs.

Of course there are those that we wish we never had, maintaining these ties are a constant tussle between the head and heart. Yet, the head helps in holding on to these ties even if the heart steps back. 

Then there are the ones that we build on our own. We all have such special bonds... with an old rag doll, a tattered, hand-me-down grammar book, the last bench in class, the corridor selling second hand books, the always deserted lane we learnt to cycle in, that friend who cycled with us, that special someone who moves the universe around and changes all equations.

They make the heart glow, their resplendence banishes the mistral of many a gloom. Nurtured by smiles, happiness and love, bit by bit, pulling many a string of our heart, strengthening the person in us, these relationships become our defining factors.

Then why does it take so little to break something that was made with such love?

One small gesture or the lack of it. An unspoken word or our inability to take that one step forward that could bridge a thousand gaps… how often do we see our cherished relations breaking into pieces, in slow motion, yet we do nothing about it, except hardening our hearts and hurting.

Ego. My sense of me. Which spreads its head at the most inappropriate, inopportune moment and wipes out all reasoning, logic, love. My bloated sense of me. It can turn the most simple and uncomplicated situation into an ugly scene that hurts and deepens scars that refuse to heal.

Insecurity. Hidden under the garb of ego, fooling all including me that the dire straits my relations have fallen into are by my own will. Once a while, in some moment of courage, or is it fear? I might unleash my feelings and see in my mind, my outstretched arm being flung aside, my white flag of truce being trampled upon…I cast aside these images hurriedly and don the mask of the hardened soul again.

Power. That heady feeling of being in control. That sense of being indispensable to someone. That contorted equating of self with God.

Vengeance. The hunger to do unto others as others had done unto us. Not willing to let go of this one chance to redeem our piled up pain on being wronged…so what if that pain is lost in yesteryear; so what if the source of that pain was different, in a scene from distant past?

Whatever the reasons, destruction is always easier than constructing. We are lead by the demons in us to destroy a part of us, our very essence. Relationships aren't a one time investment. They need nurture and care to grow, else they stagnate. It is never too difficult to reign in the negative in our minds that urge us to destroy. All it takes is a little patience, some courage and a lot of love to keep intact our ties strong, us strong.