Relationships... we build one with everyone and everything that touches
our lives.
Some we are born with. The first lessons in bonding start with them. The
comfort in the mother's womb, the first touch by the father, the cosy warmth of
the grandparent’s arms, the safe haven of the sibling's hugs.
Of course there are those that we wish we never had, maintaining
these ties are a constant tussle between the head and heart. Yet, the head
helps in holding on to these ties even if the heart steps back.
Then there are the ones that we build on our own. We all have such
special bonds... with an old rag doll, a tattered, hand-me-down grammar book,
the last bench in class, the corridor selling second hand books, the always
deserted lane we learnt to cycle in, that friend who cycled with us, that
special someone who moves the universe around and changes all equations.
They make the heart glow, their resplendence banishes the mistral of
many a gloom. Nurtured by smiles, happiness and love, bit by bit, pulling many
a string of our heart, strengthening the person in us, these relationships
become our defining factors.
Then why does it take so little to break something that was made with
such love?
One small gesture or the lack of it. An unspoken word or our inability
to take that one step forward that could bridge a thousand gaps… how often do
we see our cherished relations breaking into pieces, in slow motion, yet we do
nothing about it, except hardening our hearts and hurting.
Ego. My sense of me. Which spreads its head at the most inappropriate,
inopportune moment and wipes out all reasoning, logic, love. My bloated sense
of me. It can turn the most simple and uncomplicated situation into an ugly
scene that hurts and deepens scars that refuse to heal.
Insecurity. Hidden under the garb of ego, fooling all including me that
the dire straits my relations have fallen into are by my own will. Once a
while, in some moment of courage, or is it fear? I might unleash my feelings
and see in my mind, my outstretched arm being flung aside, my white flag of
truce being trampled upon…I cast aside these images hurriedly and don the mask
of the hardened soul again.
Power. That heady feeling of being in control. That sense of being
indispensable to someone. That contorted equating of self with God.
Vengeance. The hunger to do unto others as others had done unto us. Not
willing to let go of this one chance to redeem our piled up pain on being
wronged…so what if that pain is lost in yesteryear; so what if the source of
that pain was different, in a scene from distant past?
Whatever the reasons, destruction is always easier than constructing. We are lead by the demons in us to destroy a part of us, our very essence. Relationships aren't a one time investment. They need nurture and care to grow, else they stagnate. It is never too difficult to reign in the negative in our minds that urge us to destroy. All it takes is a little patience, some courage and a lot of love to keep intact our ties strong, us strong.
